We went to Mumbai for my mother’s checkup on the evening of April 7th. The next day, we consulted with the doctor who instructed us to do a few tests, including a lung biopsy. After the biopsy, we were told to wait for a few days as the report was expected on April 12th, 2024. During that waiting period, we were praying passionately that the report would be negative, hoping it was just TB as initially suspected.
The fear of cancer is so immense that people would prefer almost any other serious ailment over it. It’s not that other diseases don’t cause pain and suffering—those with diabetes endure hardships throughout their lives. Yet, when it comes to the ‘C’ word, humans are petrified beyond measure.
We, too, were desperately praying and denying the possibility of cancer. On April 12th, 2024, we received the devastating confirmation: it was indeed cancer, and an advanced stage at that. The doctor immediately scheduled my mother’s first chemotherapy for the very next day. That night, around 9 PM, my mother went to sleep. I sat in the living room, contemplating everything that had transpired. My father, who had never shared his feelings with us in my entire 29 years, came and sat beside me. He was deeply sad, struggling to comprehend and accept the news. How could a husband of 31 years accept that his wife had a disease with no cure?
He sat with me, and I suggested he get some sleep as we had to go to the hospital early the next day. But he refused and began expressing his feelings. He said, “I never thought that your mother could get such a disease. How could a disciplined and health-conscious person who didn’t have any other chronic disease be diagnosed with this?” It was incredibly difficult for my father to accept, as it was for all of us. After a while, he went back to sleep.
Up until that point, I had been very positive, believing we could handle whatever came our way. I had intentionally avoided searching the internet for information because I knew Google would only increase my anxiety. But in that moment, I clicked on a YouTube video about a patient’s journey with advanced-stage lung cancer. Watching that video, my positivity plummeted, and I became extremely anxious. From 9:30 PM to 11:30 PM, I tried to sleep but couldn’t. I texted my cousin brother, who had initially suspected my mother’s persistent cough and recommended a chest X-ray. I asked him whether we should proceed with chemotherapy or consider other treatments like targeted therapy and immunotherapy.
My brother called and explained that while targeted therapy was an option (we had already given a blood sample for the necessary tests), immunotherapy was not particularly helpful and was very expensive. He emphasized that we had no choice but to go through chemotherapy and possibly combine it with targeted therapy. He also informed me about the long-term symptoms and side effects. I was terrified and extremely anxious, my mind spiraling into the darkest scenarios.
Reflecting on that night now, I can say that many of the fears my mind conjured didn’t materialize. The past few months have been challenging for our family, but we have managed to handle it. Every cancer patient has a unique story. Just because something happens to one cancer patient doesn’t mean it will happen to another.
It’s important to be prepared for the worst-case scenario, but not at the cost of your mental health. Now, after my mother has completed four chemotherapies and five consecutive days of brain radiotherapy, I believe every cancer patient and their caregivers should face the challenges of this journey as they come. Every cancer patient walks a different road. Stay hopeful, and good things will happen. If not, this hope will at least help you navigate this difficult journey in a better way.